Allison Janae Blog

Lately, everything in my life feels like it’s shifting. Everything around me is changing. So much preparation and planning are going into the next couple of months with my family moving, a wedding, moving again into a place of my own, ending seasons and beginning new ones… the change keeps building, and honestly, it has overwhelmed me.

The thing is, it feels wrong to be overwhelmed. I feel that I should be able to hold all these intersecting plans and projects together without a problem. I should be able to handle it all with grace, patience, and joy. That is how I want to handle it- but I’m definitely not there. 

Yet no matter how many things I drop in my attempt to carry it all, I keep trying. I keep striving without rest, and the few “breaks” I have taken have been less restful, and more a withdrawing: procrastination instead of purposefully pausing. True rest leaves me feeling refreshed, remotivated, and refocused. But this kind of “break” leaves me feeling more stressed than before, restless, and guilty. Often lately it has also left me depressed and anxious. 

So what have I been doing wrong? I realized I have been believing a few specific lies about rest:

1. Rest is lazy.
2. I have to earn the right to rest.
3. Rest/the space for rest just happens sometimes when I get lucky.
4. I’m too busy to rest.

I put those lies in order of how strongly I personally feel them. Number one on the list: Rest is lazy. I think the second is more like a subpoint, because they go hand-in-hand for me: Rest is lazy and should only be enjoyed by those who truly deserve it. I don’t know about you, but that has felt like the secret mantra of my life lately. That the unsteady, chaotic, unsettled feeling is what I deserve. It sounds like a blatant lie when I say (or type) it aloud, but it still grips me tightly. 

What is the truth? What do I deserve? Let’s take a reset on our perspective for a moment. The words from one of my favorite hymns “In Christ Alone” come to mind: 

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

What do I truly deserve? Eternal death. Does God give me what I deserve? All of us who serve Jesus as Lord know the answer is a strong NO! He offers the gift we don’t, and never could deserve: Eternal life. The opportunity to have an intimate and personal relationship with Him. He offers the incredible, the unbelievable, the lavish! As most gifts go, it was given freely, lovingly, and without expectation that we would be worthy of it.

With this gift of everlasting life, God has offered another gift that comes from the abundance of His love: He offers me rest.

“Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the LORD. There are those who say, ‘Who will show us some good? Lift up the light of your face upon us, O LORD!’ You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound.  In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” 

–Psalm 4:7-5-8:

It is God alone who provides me with safety. He alone can assure me I can rest without fear. This psalm tells us to ‘offer right sacrifices and put our trust in the LORD’. This originally meant sacrifices of animals in the temple, of course, but I think it is still relevant to us today. Since Jesus has paid the ultimate atonement, often our sacrifices are less tangible things. I think one of the most difficult (and important!) sacrifices I make is the sacrifice of my time. 

When I try to take a pause in the middle of my day, I often feel tense and anxious. Why? Why am I so fearful of “losing” three, maybe five minutes? It is because I don’t trust God to handle things without me. Talk about the ultimate insult on the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving Creator who loves me more than I could ever understand. Ouch!

Hear Jesus’ words in Matthew:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

-Matthew 11:28-30

We know that trusting God and accepting His offer for rest is important… but how do we do rest as an action? Where’s the practical? I’m going to pass on an idea that I got from a church friend: every time you start your car, let it warm up for five minutes. Or longer. Don’t pick up your phone- for anything. Don’t think ahead to what you have to do once the five or more minutes are up. Take a bunch of deep breaths (you don’t have to count them). Think about your Loving Father, and thank Him for taking care of you, and for taking care of everything and everyone else. Maybe just sit in your car without any thoughts (to those of you who have a brain that can do that, I have deep appreciation for your gift).

I have found this simple practice surprisingly difficult. Five minutes feels so long when I have things to do! And yet when I do take the invitation to pause, the long five minutes is abundantly refreshing. So little makes so great a difference. 

This practice has shown me God always provides me rest, and He is always taking care of me. The problem is my pride and striving sometimes stop me from accepting His gift.

Rest is not easy to do. It goes against the flow of the world, so it takes intentional effort. It takes practice. It takes discipline. But it is God’s desire for us as we live in His love.

In case you are still struggling against thoughts that war with rest, here is Psalm 127:1-2:

“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.  Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.”

Read the last seven words again: “for He gives to His beloved sleep.” My continuous efforts and strivings do not please God just because I am working hard. He desires a relationship with us… not a completed to-do list. This psalm says it is vain, or futile and fruitless, to anxiously work without rest. Then it says God “gives to his beloved sleep”. His beloved. Synonyms: darling, sweetheart, precious, cherished, adored. Wow. What a name He gives us! It speaks to how important I am to Him. How important you are to Him! And as His most-prized, most-loved, He gives us rest.

You can do it. You can rest. Rest that you have not deserved by completing the endless to-do list- rest because you are loved, deeply and profoundly, by the God who holds you in His arms.